I threw a small 12th birthday party for my daughter, it took me a while to feel the joy of that day because I was concerned that I was not doing enough and I spent most of the day crucifying myself for it as we had to improvise a lot to save costs, months later she still counts her birthday as the best most JOYful day of her life. The funny thing is it took me weeks to realize how absolutely gay that day was, my "little girl" was grown a year older and the laughter and giggles and party games the dancing the singing, I am blessed that upon realizing I missed a beautiful moment, I still now look back at that thing as the most JOYful I've ever created.
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